10 Years Later

These are entries that I have copied from a journal that I kept

during dark days after the accident . I will not be posting all

of them because some of them are very private and

some of them are very very scary.

11/18/96

Therapy was rough this morning!! Am finally able to pick up

light weight objects with thumb & index finger .. Very light

things- styrofoam peanuts - but it's a start..

Had to have Gary adjust my daytime splint again - it was leaving

ridges in my arm again.. Did some christmas shopping this afternoon.

I am reallypissed that I can't wrap anything - I have to wait until

somebody is here and askthem to do my gift wrap.. That

is half the fun of the holidays - so this is just
another thing to add to the list of things that this accident has

taken from me..

12/24/96

Christmas Eve and Serena is in Phoenix - My poor Strider is in

such bad shape.. I know he will not be here for the New Year.

He has been my best friend for 13 years and I will

not make him suffer anymore.

What a shit year!!

My accident, Herb dying and now my boy will have

to be put down.

I can't take this-

It is a rotten thing to do to Tom - but I cannot take

him to the vet, Tom will have to do it.

Like he hasn't had enough this year..

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12/26 - Christmas was as good as could be expected..

Great gifts but the joy just isn't here this year.

12/27/96

The boy is gone - Tom took him to Mitch's office today. I will not have
another pet - it is to hard to deal with when they get sick..

My heart is broken and Tom is so torn up from taking him. He stayed with him

until he crossed Rainbow Bridge. Mitch & Lisa we both very broken up.. Strider

was like one of their own.. What other dog runs to the vets office and scratches

on the door to get in???

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June 28, 2010

Jack has been a very unhappy boy all day ..

His hip/ groin area is very tender..

When I suggested that John take him to the doctor,

he basically shrugged it off.

Jack has been crying all day , but now that

I think about it , he crys all the time when John is home.

* * * *

John forgets that Jack is a 4 year old Mama's boy..

Serena and John practice different styles of parenting

and Jack never knows what is right. I am soo

pissed at John right now that I would like to throw

him out of here, but I am afraid it would end my connection

with Jack and that would kill me .

* * * *