Tell me why the fuck I even crawled out of bed this morning?!?!?

Where to begin..

1st - Got up very early

just to get myself primed for my yearly smash-o-gram.

Had coffee , showered , got dressed. OF course no

deodorant or hairspray.

Nice -- 90 degree heat and 95% humidity.

* * *

(Keep in mind , I have had a shit week due

to bad weather and my body aching)

* * * * * * * * *

Drove to Bernice's house to deliver her tomatoes.

They are sooooo good

* * * *

Stopped at Michaels , to get a

magic wand . Jack likes magic this week.

Soooo I get my stuff walk out to my truck

No freaking keys - Back into the store

The cashier is standing there waving them at me

WHATEVER
*****

Now off to the smash-o-gram

OF course if you don't get to the surgical center by 7:00AM

(My appointment was for 11:30)

you are not going to get a parking spot even remotely close

to the building. So by the time I get to the building I am

sweating like a thief in church.

1 hour later , I am leaving and hiking back to my truck,

after being pushed , pulled and smashed.

* * * *

So I think I'll stop at Wally World and get the other items

needed to make That Dip.

BIG MISTAKE!!!

* * * * * *

Get an electric shopping cart and off I go like

a stampeding turtle.

Get my food products and a new pair of capris

( in a SMALLER size), then

it is time to head to the deli. I place my order and the cart

starts beeping .. it is D E A D !!!

I tell the deli girl I'll be back and head to the front door

to get ANOTHER cart. I get back to the deli and the cart is screaming

like a hooker that didn't get paid .

Everybody is giving me dirty looks while I unload my stuff from the

beeping cart to the running cart.

People are still giving me "the look". I inform them, it is a

typical Wal-Mart product . I get my things loaded - tell them all

WELCOME TO WAL- MART and proceed to the check out lane.

* * * * *

I learned a long time ago, NEVER get in the shortest line .. That

means one of two things , the checker is really slow or

there is a problem.

<><><><>

to be continued later tonight

Saturday Morning

and the continuing bad day story

************************************************************

In the line ,one woman that is almost checked out , a man with a few

food items and about 30 cans of cat food , then me .

Okay , waiting waiting waiting

First woman- her check was rejected .. She must be a real

paperhanger. That takes 5 or 6 min - to get that straightened out .

She let without her "treasures".

The man has his stuff unloaded and on the conveyor,

and surprise surprise ,

a woman get in line behind me with 2 kids in the cart

and one of them is wailing like a banshee "I WANT IT"

"I WANT OUT" - MOOOOOOOOOM

OMG-- How much more can I take today ????

The guy in front of me swipes his debit card -- NOTHING

Swipes again and the cashier is staring at a wall.

No offer to help this man or offer to run his card

thru the register scanner. If she had a brain she was thinking

"I ams the cashier - I ams not the customer servise"

Yes, I know that rings of profiling --

* * * * * *

Finally it is my turn

Do you know you cannot see a clock from the check out lines??

So "precious" is scanning my stuff and I watch the

read out on my side because Wal-Mart has a bad

habit of shelf saying one thing , price ringing up as

something else.

BINGO!! A $5 T-shirt rang up as $9

WHOA-- take that off- I am not paying that price.

She informs me

"Ya'll gonna haves to go to customer service".

NO-- you can just scan it and take it off of the total.

"No I kent, I done totaled ya'lls order.."

Sooo the rest of the stuff in my order is free??

Whut udder stuff??

I point to about 12 items still on the belt and the

order divider that is BEHIND the balance of my "owdder"

Well I can ring that up separate and then ya'll can go to

customer service to get a refund on the t shirt.

(all this time that kid is screaming like Damien)

* * * *
At that point I lost it.

Get you manager here-- NOW !!!

"Ain't no need for that "

Oh yes there is - because I am about to totally lose it

and it is "a fixing to get ugly"

(That way she could understand I was serious)

* * * * *

She send another slow moving employee to "fetch " a CSM

The CSM shows up and I explain to her what is going on --

so she does her stuff with the keys and the register

and tells the cashier to finish the order.

STOP RIGHT THERE

I am not going to go thru this again

- you better find somebody else to finish this order.

Finally , I am checked out and on my way home

or so I thought .

* * * * *

Time to get more coffee and do a few things around here,

I'll finish this later