As Time Goes By.....

A little bit about EVERYTHING.. Family , friends , life, death,rants and raves. Just a place for me to get it all out of my system..

Location: Arkansas, United States

Monday, July 24, 2006


I received this from a friend today and I know she would only give

me information that would help me

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...
don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like
saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a steak is nothing more than an efficientmechanism of
delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And
a pork chopcan give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance
of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get
even more of the goodness that way.
Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a
regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry.
My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days
in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could
getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a
little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO.. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets.
And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
preserved body,
but rather to skid insideways -
Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out
and screaming
"WOO HOO, What a Ride!"
For those that may have had to many
chardonnay or beers-
this is NOT actual medical advice


Anonymous Maureen - Cousin said...

A blog from you wouldn't be a good day. When I see that I received one...that is the first thing I open. God love you Linda - you are the smile in my heart.

One day, you will have to explain how to do this BLog thing.


8/15/2006 2:26 PM  

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