Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young,
thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.

It said:

***

¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨

* * *

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not

match those of the woman on the poster, responded

publicly to the question posed by the gym.

* * * * * *

To Whom It May Concern: Whales are always surrounded by

friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active

sex life, they getpregnant and have adorable baby whales.

They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves

with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful

places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia .

***

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs..

They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other

than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by

almost everyone in the world.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

Mermaids don't exist.

If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of

Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?

They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to

them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they

don't have kids either.

Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like

a fish store? The choice is perfectly clear to me;

I want to be a whale.

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P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea

that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice

cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me

shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because

we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that

when there is no more room it distributes out to the

rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are

enormously cultured, educated and happy.

***

Beginning today,

when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,

Good gosh, look how smart I am...¨