Our Trip To The Vet - 7/13/04

July 13, 2004

I just got home from the vets office-- what a )$(&)#^ morning ..

1st - This is the 1st time those 2 have ever been in my truck ( a GMC - Yukon)
Foster (F)- 60# Golden Retriever mix
Smokey (M)- 80# Husky/malamute mix

Keeping them in the back part was a challenge ,Smokey starts WHINING as loud as he
can so I start singing God Bless America as loud as I can and he shuts up. Let me explain about the God Bless America-- (I saw a sign that said "GOD BLESS AMERICA"- and at that point it was sing or start Mutha F)@&$ering eveybody ,& everything..) I quit singing and he starts howling again.. Foster is pacing. I turn the radio on-- Not good enough.. I start singing G B A again and Smokey quits.. So slowly I change from singing to humming=-- this keeps them happy. Remember -- this vet is approx 30 miles from my house.

We get to the vets office and now the challenge is to get both of them out of the back of my truck and still remain in control.. yeah right.. Well we are out and walking across the parking lot ( which it PACKED) - up the handitard ramp and there is a kitty laying there.. The whole time I am walking I am saying -stay right- stay right-- and walk the dogs in to the vets office and there are about 15 people ahead of me..This place does not make appts-- it is 1st come 1st served-- but the price is right and he is good with the dogs. So I get on the list and we head back to the door-- as we are walking down the handitard ramp-- the cat must have hissed this time because Smokey picked it up and started shaking it for all he was worth.. I am slapping Smokey screaming "no kill -no kill" - and Foster is barking - the cat is screeching and spraying-- (needless to say, I don't think the pants I was wearing can be salvaged. They are in the washer right now..) Smokey drops the cat , only to pick it up for one final shake before I whacked him as hard as I could between the ears to make him drop the cat again.. This time the cat ran and Smokey is howling, Foster is barking and I am PISSED... Now the vet comes flying out of the office and asks nobody in particular-- "who was shaking my cat"- to which I replied- "I gave it up, so it must have been one of these two.." (The vet does not have a very good sense of humor.) As I am standing there holding Smokey's mouth shut.

So I take them over to where the truck is parked JUST in case another cat comes by- Smokey thinks he needs to be in the truck with the a/c on and starts the wolf howling at
the moon vocal thing that he does- and when I told him to sit down and shut up he jumped on me-- so now I have him by the collar and am talking to him, very close to his face- and Foster is barking at him and biting his hind legs.. What a freakin' Chinese fire drill this was...

40 min later they call us in- and now we are ready for round 2- they need
rabies, distemper, parainfluenze,adenovirus, coronavirus ( I could use a Corona right now),
bordatella, that is the one that has to go in the nose and finally leptospirosis. So 3 shots and stuff blown up their noses and they act like this is an every day occurance . When I said "sit"-- they sat- when I said "down down"-- they both laid down. Now why couldn't they have been that behaved all morning????

So I am home now-- my check book is $70 lighter , but the dogs are ready for Puppy Camp.

More later-- I am going to go see if there is Corona left..



I am in shape. Round is a shape.