As Time Goes By.....

A little bit about EVERYTHING.. Family , friends , life, death,rants and raves. Just a place for me to get it all out of my system..

Location: Arkansas, United States

Sunday, November 28, 2004

November and Beyond .........

As most of you know -- we are moving AGAIN.
We seem to have a 5 year limit on houses..
So since this move is taking place in the next couple of weeks ( if the weather cooperates), and I have just about everything packed-including the Christmas cards, we will not be sending cards this year.
We also will not be sending gifts,
since money is tight due to this move.
Moving drains more than your energy.
This does not mean we don't love you-- it just means that the Christmas stockings will be empty this year will.
Wishing each of you a very Merry Christmas
and a
Glorious New Year !!!!
Tom & Linda


December 06, 2004

The beginning
Happy Holidays to all....As you all know we are planning to move into our new house around 12/15-- Maybethe 16th or who knows - why not the 17th.. I have been packing boxes, and am amazed at the crap that breeds while we are sleeping.. I know I could not have actually purchased this many pairs of shoes and I have found enough pens that if I drain the ink from them I could float a boat.The dust bunnies are a bit vicious-- I think they are about 15 pounds each and I am sure I saw one of them hopping around in a pair of my red Reebok's..Ahhh... packing , what an exercise in frustration..Just about the time I think I have found a box big enough to pack some picture frames in , then I discover that I also have a couple of HUGE vases and several fields worth of dried flowers (that are going to turn to dust when I move them) andneed to try to find a box to pack them in upright. What the hell was I thinking when I bought them?? Never mind-- no answer required.Another mystery of the Universe-- Just how many coozies does a family of two need?I also have discovered that I have 11 pairs of pantyhose- 9 pairs of navy blue sox and I have actually unearthed a (purple)push up bra. This thing belongs in a historical museum. I have located a 1/2 slip in pale pink and 3pairs of thigh highs. I also have 2 pairs or shoes with 3 1/2 heels.. Just what I need for around the farm- Maybe I can change my name to Mona Little and make some extra cash...mmmmoooeeewww.What other treasurers have I found ...well how about 2 dozen earrings-- none match- but then I do have 5 holes in my ears-- no no - don't get confused-- it is 3 holes in one ear and two in the other ear.. Another adventure in drinking experiment. I have found my Wonder Woman Watch. Long Story there too. And Pictures-- oh my -- I was quite the busy little photographer for "the Crew" for many years.. Lucky for so many that these are snapshots and not videos.. WOWOWOWOWOOOOO- The stories I could tell - and from many different states in the union and may different states of mind or mindlessness road-trips . Take your pick.Packing up the girlie things in my bathroom has been quite an eye opener. I have 5 bottles of shampoo, 3 bottles of conditioner, 3 boxes of hair coloring and wait -- count them - 33 bottles of nail polish. I don't have any fingernails left since I have started packing - maybe I can use these polishes to label the never ending parade of cardboard boxes. I have found multiple jars and bottles of various moisturizers and I still have alligator skin. I wonder if opening these jars and bottles would actually help this condition? Maybe I'll try it after we move. I have 3 curling irons - 1 set of hot rollers and 5 hairbrushes.. What the hell is that all about, and honey - Do I have War Paint !!! Hell I could run with the best of them-- any color and almost as many different manufacturers. Color Propaganda runs the world..Well I think I will wander thru the maze of boxes and see if I can find the bed ..and to all a good night .........................................This amazing journey will continue tomorrow...

Stop The presses- 12/03/04

Looks like we won't be living at 25 Antler Way
I called to have the electric & gas service connected-- well much to my surprise-- Antler Way does not exist!!! That's right-- after going postal at the post office because nobody knows where my mail is --I get home this afternoon and I get a call from the gas company.. They say I muct contact the 911 service- because they are the ones that assign addresses.. So I call the "911 office" and was told that Antler Way is in Phase 2 of the development-
and that our house is in Phase 1.
Okay - what does that mean-- well that means that your address is NOT
25 Antler Way. I told him that we are closing on the 15th and he said the developer knew about this over a year ago and never filed the correct papers.. So now we have to wait until Monday to find out what our NEXT address will be.
Ain't this the shits ..... as the locals would say
DO NOT mail anything to us ... Because we are in LIMBO

The developer made an error when he put up the street signs- so we are still moving in to the same house on the 15th-- It jsut has a different street name.. The 911 adress people always win - plus I like Eagle Point Dr better than Antler way.. Who wants to live on horney street.. What a crappy name-- why not just call it Buck Balls Blvd???
Needless to say - Our christmas will be spent opening boxes of our own crap and finding places to put it, hanging pictures and probably sucking down a bottle or two of bubbly while I am doing it ...
I'll send you a couple of pictures of the house ..

Now the curling iron count is up to 4 - but the treasure of the morning is an
"Oak Ridge Boys" tape.. They have not been boys since when -- 1965.....
I cannot find the Christmas gift I bought for Serena , so I guess I will do a bit of last min shopping tomorrow.. SURPRISE !!!!
I have also found negatives from a 110 camera.. Guess after we move I will have them printed and see what they are .. They could be some real eye openers.Soo all of you family members that think these could be used for blackmail..... send cash now !!!! I also found a snapshot of Serena at age 10-- I think I will be kind and destroy this one. She was not a happy camper the day this was taken.. So in years to come (When she is trying to put me in a home)- remind her that her mother was kind.
Other treasures: A pair of brown suede boots with pointed toes ( hey I kept them long enough- they are back in style) and still in good shape.
A Christmas pin with a pissed off looking reindeer that says "Yo Santa- Jingle This". The things we buy - and keep. I wish I was more like Serena and just tossed everything. Maybe this new house will teach me that.. After moving all of this crap-- I don't think I will want to save anything.
A "friend" sent an email after reading last nights email and suggested the only thing I need now is a partridge in a pear tree. I told her - "That is just what I need rotting fruit in a box and bird shit.. some friend ..........
More tomorrow.
Oh wait there is more - Tom just called --Remember the tile that we ordered and they deliverd the wrong stuff- well they new shipment came in today-- Exact same color and brand as before. Merry Freaking HAppy New House.. So now I get to go tile shopping this afternoon. )($&!%%(%_@(mailto:&$%@$!)&


Soooooo, I leave early -- go meet Tom, then we go to the new house- pick up a tile sample- and then back to NLR.. To National, where we were informed that the girl screwed up.. NO SHIT SHERLOCK !!! What was your first or SECOND clue?????
They have NOTHING in stock that even comes close to what we have ordered - but they would be happy to have us pick a cheap in stock butt fukin' ugly tile. I THINK NOT.. So we go to Home Depot-- NOTHING-- across the road to Lowes-- NOTHING,
It is not my problem-- I am not going to settle for something that is just okay. They can order my tile in again and this time they better double check the damn stock number.
I don't care if it does delay the closing....
Chapter 3-

Hmmm ....Are we closing on the new house on Wednesday??
Shit no... Why-- because the brain donor at National that ordered the WRONG tile the first time-- ordered the same freaking wrong tile the second time. Can you say inbred?? But hell she would probably think it meant she was getting a sandwich. You know-- What's indabread??
Now - the tile won't be here til Mon or maybe Tuesday- so that means they will not be installing the hardwood tomorrow- because the tile has to be done first. The heat is not on yet because the electricians did not work today - so no electric-- no blower for the heater. Do you have vision of gerbils spinning the wheel??? Can you hear my last two brain cells banging into the sides of my head trying to get away from this insanity...........................................
So today I did not pack any boxes-- I did not unearth any treasures- but I did spend the day running from one store to another trying to find "another" tile for the house.. The only thing these places stock is reminiscent of the floor in your grade school lunchroom. Ugly - grayish and a glimpse of what the floor might look like when they put you in a cell for murdering incompetent sales people. Now I could have the UGLY stuff today but anything with color of any kind needs to be ordered in..Well if you have to order that - then why not just order the damn tile I picked out in the beginning - what a concept!
So I will note bore you with tales of "The Archeology Dig" at CampLinda, at least not tonight.
Good Night-- sleep well in your tiled , carpeted , heated , lighted homes

O M G _- Maybe the third time is a charm.. Tom called and said that we have tile.. Not installed -- but we have tile .
Keep your fingers crossed or "Chapter four" will be to tell you about prison life and the asian that I made my bitch.. ( thats because they iron well and I love stir fry)
Politically Incorrect ??
Deal With It !!!
Merry Christmas

You are Invited to attend the mutha of all moving parties....
Date: 18 DEC 2004
Time: 10:00am
Place: 441 Blair Road
Bring your best attitude,
(because Linda's will probaly SUCK)
a pair of gloves
and a lot of energy.
No beer will be served before its time ....
* * * * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 4
Murphy's law will prevail - It is S N O W I N G -- and the roads are solid sheets of ice..
I love a white Christmas-- just not this one .. What a pain in the ass..
I have a 2 page bitch sheet for the builers/contractors- Merry Freakin' Christmas.. or as the sign in Greenbrier says "Marry Christmas" Does that surprise you ??
Most of our stuff is still in the garage-- why bother moving it in- just to have to move it around to let the contractors fix the f-ups?? Of course I will be supervising this next round of workers-- They can't ask me to leave-- it is our house.. And I knoiw this is hard to believe , but sometimes I can be a little picky/bitchy..
Well I guess I will end this chapter-- maybe the next one will have pictures....
Politically Incorrect ??
Deal With It !!!
Merry Christmas

Chapter 5
We are moved in to the new house-- Now I did not say we were unpacked or organized.. I figure that will be accomplished some time around Easter.
So today, the mail carrier shows up at the door-- Don't get excited-- It was NOT a Win of any kind.. Well I guess you could call it a win-- since there has been a BIG screw up with our address and all of the legal papers etc etc etc .. Developer sold us a house at 25 Antler Way
and it turn out the LEGAL address is 25 Eagle Point Drive - what a headache.. Just trying to get everything thing switched to the NEW- NEW address.. Oh jeez, I am wandering again.. must be because I have been overcome by the cardboard fumes from all of the boxes I am unpacking..
Back to my story-- the mail carrier comes to the door-- I step out - and LOCK myself out.
It is cold-- there is ice or mud everywhere and I have on rubber sandals , a sweat shirt & jeans and no bra. Lovely visual --OMG.. So being the resourceful type, I just jump in the mud with both feet and try the front windows and the windows on the south side of the house.. (Now keep in mind that the 2 dogs are inside and HOWLING because I am out and they are not.) No Luck - windows are all locked. So I go to the north side of the house and it is still ICE !! I take a piece of carpet padding that is laying in the construction junk pile - a long piece of wood about 2" wide and a lawn chair ( for balance) and start making my way to the windows on that side of the house.Of course they are all locked.. Now I have mud up to my ankles- I am cold and I am pissed at myself..
I stop a man that is walking and ask if he has a cell phone-- No m'am I do not- but if you give my the number you want to call, I will go home and call it for you.. Chivalry is not dead!!!
He calls Tom- who calls his buddy Tucker that lives pretty close and has him come over to help me get in.. To add to my embarassment- he pulls up LAUGHING!!!! Fortunately - we had given him a garage door opener and we were able to get muddy me back in to the house.
I think it must be "beer thirty"
I swear I am never going to step out of the house without a cell phone or a bra again. PLUS , I am going to look like a latch key kid and wear a chain around my neck with a house key on it .
Info from the politically correct dictionary:
vertically challenged -- short
horizontally gifted -- fat
horizontally challenged -- thin
chronologically gifted -- old
intellectually impaired -- stupid